I was just thinking


I going to speak my mind! It is just not fair!

My Guest author,  Gray Tabby  has been a part of our household for 15 years.  She has experienced and lost great loves in  her long life.  She has been uncomplaining and usually cooperative, except for one long lasting episode.

Now  her life has taken a drastic turn.

“I just don’t understand this whole situation,” she explains, ” have I not given  my all, have I not put up with my people in order to maintain  a peaceful home.   Now I wonder, what, after 15 long years has gone wrong?”

Ms. Tabby explained to me as we spoke, “I am going to speak my mind!  It is just not fair. I want no misunderstanding in this matter.”

Here is her unedited statement of the situation as  she sees it.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE HUMAN MIND

Gray Tabby

In 1995 I was borne into a litter of kittens that resulted from a one night stand my mother had when she escaped the confines of her human’s house around the end of January.   I never knew my dad, Mom did not even know his name.

Our family was split up when I was about a month old.  I was sent to live with an old maid human who was afraid of her own shadow.  When I did the natural kitty things like tear up the curtains and pee on the floor she went into hysterics and simple did not know how to handle me.  I thought I was a goner for sure!  I know my beginnings were humble but I  did not deserve what I was trapped in.

One day when my lady was complaining, with me  in the room,  to her hairdresser about what a problem I was, I almost meowed.   I heard her say she just had to get rid of me!  Well, I never!………………but I decided it was best to lie there pretending to sleep.

How happy I was when I heard that other human say: “My darling, sweet husband gave me the cutest little  red Pomeranian. He was whelped in March; he has bonded to me so completely that I can not do a thing without his being underfoot.  Lane (that was her darling, sweet husband, I guess) says I need a kitten for a companion for Reynard.”

Before I could purr a “cat’s meow” I was on my way to babysit a bratty little ball of red fluff who was about my size, they called him Reynard.  He did have a beguiling smile on his pointed little face;  he knew how to rough and tumble with the best of felines.    We were the best of companions until I got to be about twice his size when we were 8 or 9 months old, then he became a aggravating little pest that I swatted often.

I was so glad he had a human the same age we were to play with occasionally,  then I could rest.  Reynard looked like a little fool when he and that little human, Weston, got down on the floor and played tug of war for  hours with his rope or towel.   Reynard actually taught that little human to pull the toys with his mouth!!  Why any dog would want to chew on a rope a human had in his mouth, I will never understand!!  Both of them seemed to think it was funny!!

Both Reynard and Weston grew up, finally.  Reynard and I remained friends most of the time.   There was one habit he picked up that drove me insane.   He was a tattletale!!  Let me step out line one little bit, that yappy little mute would head straight to my  human and bring them back!  Uh! I was so tempted to scratch his buggy eyes out, several times!

There was just one problem.  I could not scratch because they decided to take my front claws off!!  Can you imagine the humiliation?  First they had my kitty maker cut out, then my toes cut off at the first joint!  I never forgave them the claw thing!!

I got my revenge.  You do not want me to scratch?  Okay, that’s fine.   Remember, I scratch litter over my pee and poop, right?  Well, I got no paw tips to touch that stuff with and I ain’t going to touch it with my bare paw, so, forget the litter pan, human!  The middle of your big old sleeping pad suits me just fine, thank you.

Guess I went a little overboard that time.   I got banished from inside the house til I learned my lesson!  Lady human would talk to me, let me lie in her lap; I could still visit with Reynard, as long as it was out of doors.

Sadly, I watch Reynard grow older and become feeble despite the pampering he got.  He  never had to do a thing but act smart  for our humans; they ate it up; thought he could do no wrong.  One day I saw the daddy human take Reynard to the car; thought it was kind of unusual, heard him say he was going to the doctor’s office.   I do not know exactly what happened; that was the last time I saw Reynard.

For almost 2 years I have been queen of the domain!  I am even back inside, but I still am not going to use that silly box my mom human brought home; she can just let me outside, or there’s always that  human sleeping pad.  Come to think of it I do not think I will pull that stunt again, though.

So, you see, I just do not understand what happened this afternoon.   I am lying on the couch (on my my towel) when my two humans come in with a big box in daddy human’s hands and this ball of fluff in mama human’s arms.

She starts with this silly human voice, “Tabby, pooh, (I hate that) look what Mommy has got for you!

I am expecting her to pull out a silly toy I am going to have to pretend to be impressed with.

“Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! let me see so I can bat it or roll and get back to my nap”

She says to the daddy human, “Open the box and let Tabby, pooh, see!”

Out steps this huge orange creature!  It is about 1/2 again my size.

Mama human tells me, “This is Tigger, he is going to be your friend, isn’t he a pretty kitty cat?”

"This is a cat. Why isn't he gray? Look at those yellow eyes!"

A kitty cat?!  Now, I am not prejudice but cats are suppose to be grey or black, not orange with yellow eyes, no less.  And look at that belly, he looks like a overstuffed tiger with the gut hanging.  I heard her say he was neutered, I guess that means they cut off  his reserve kitty tank, at least they left his claws in tact.

I could not help it!  I looked at this “thing” for a minute, he let out the coarsest cat howl I have ever heard.  I looked him straight in those yellow balls, he calls eyes and hissed “Pssst!  Psst!”  which translated means roughly, “You and your yellow tail can go straight to…………….that fancy piss pan she’s got in the other room.”   I gathered my dignity and strode into the hall to hid, where I never hid before, in the bookcase.

I had forgotten about the fur ball mama human was carrying.  When I crept back into the living room I did a double take.   I thought I was dreaming.  There stood Reynard as I remembered him as a fluffy red  puppy.  It could not be.

Mama human said, “This is Ms. Vicki, she is a little female Pomeranian.  She is only 14 weeks old so you will need to help us look after her.”

Ms. Vicki looked at me with those sad watery black eyes, then gave me a cute little pom smile.  My heart melted but I

"I thought I was dreaming, Ms. Vicki looks like Reynard"

will never let my humans know that.   I’ll pretend to warm to her over the next few days.  I can not wait to tell her about Reynard and Weston and how we used to play.

I am giving that yellow creature fair warning.   I am  queen of this domain,  he and those yellow eyes had better learn to move when I “Psst” or I will know why.   My front paws may be powerless but ask any cat in this  “hood”, I pack a powerfully mean back leg kick !   Out of my way, Sucker!

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Comments on: "I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE HUMAN MIND" (6)

  1. Hilarious!! Welcome to the family Miss Vicki and Tigger! Don’t worry Tabby, we loved you first!

  2. Understanding the human mind…..who does?
    Now if plants could talk what would they say?

  3. Oh, I forgot…..what goes around comes around. My mom saw this cute little dog named Vicki Lynn and so she named me Vicki…..so I guess the legacy goes on! I love it!

  4. […] Tabby is not nearly as thrilled with this arrangement as her human family is.  She has insisted as part of the peace pac, I allow her to express her frustration in a blog.  She invites you to share her  feelings. […]

  5. So cute! I am always trying to figure out what my fur friends are thinking.

  6. Lane Cockrell said:

    Reblogged this on Gardening, Creatures and Life In A Small Town and commented:

    Our pets are our children. Amazingly human in actions, they let my wife and me know when they are unhappy. Gray Tabby was very unhappy about this situation!

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