On June 28, 2008 her son, Jared, was seriously injured in an automobile accident; he lay in a coma for almost a month; other complications manifest themselves. On July 4, 2008 she was summoned to the hospital to face yet another heart wrenching decision.
Jared could have surgery to remove hemorrhage damage, which would leave him in a vegetative state for the rest of his life; let things go, he would most likely die in 30-60 days.
What would I like to do? I will wait on God to restore him!
Traci Marr: TBI is not ON my plate, it is a new way of life.
The story of her fight is an incredible accounting of a Mother’s determination, and a woman’s faith; facing towering mounds of bureaucratic red tape, ignoring walls of medical skepticism, she has sought out alternative treatment, which combined with accepted medical practices have produced miracles. (Today he is able to walk unassisted!!)
Traci has agreed to allow me to use parts of her story. I hope you will be as inspired as I am by what is happening. I am labeling her blogs as GOD RESTORES.
This blog addresses an issue that we all need to see from a personal point of view. It invites us to look at OUR reactions to the new life TBI persons and their families live.
Are we excluding them from life out of misplaced feelings of concern?
Both Debbie Brewer, another Mother of a TBI person, and Traci say: “Yes!”
“We want to be a part of your life. We want you to be a part of ours.”
Debbie C Brewer:"Bravo!!"
( Debbie C. Brewer) I’m giving you a standing ovation right now!!! Woo Hoo!! **Whistling**
God created me VERY social (also kind of shy and selective, go figure) and the being left out because I have “too much on my plate” has been the hardest thing to get used to.
The best is “I didn’t call because I figured your phone was ringing off the hook.” Well, everyone must be figuring that because it was a very quiet day and I would have desperately loved to talk.
Please post this to a blog! I am convinced now more than ever that God set us up as siblings and placed us on opposite sides of the country (I guess to balance things out!).
Love you Westie!! Thank you for this comforting, connecting God-hug!
*******************************************
We have all heard the expressions, “he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth’, “this is the hand you’ve been dealt” “Just wipe the slate clean and start over”, “you sure wear a lot of hats” “you carry the world on your shoulders” And the famous “you have to much on your plate”.
Today I have been pondering the mysterious plate. When did each of us receive this plate?
We all, at some point in life, have been told we have “to much on our plate”; we ALL have a plate.
Do we receive it at birth? As a teen? When we hit 21?
Well, I have surmised we each receive our mystery plate at birth.
Where we keep this plate is beyond me; our hands are full with the cards we have been dealt, our mouth is full with the silver spoon (or our foot), the many hats that cover our head; we carry the “weight of the world on our shoulders”.
All I know is, some how we carry it with us, we add to it; sometimes portions are put on our plate that we did not ask for– lets say divorce of our parents; the death of a family member, or abuse. Someone comes along and drops a portion into our plate.
A spouse and children do not count as a spot on our plate; they are part of the life we live, BUT they can add to spaces on our plate, if we let them, with worry, stress, anger, resentment, pride, jealousy, greed, drug addiction, alcoholism– just to name a few.
If some one we love has problems we can choose to take on their problems, thus adding a portion to our plate.
Then there is work, financial worry, retirement, the broke down car…every thing you can think of, one can add to this plate and often does .
Here is the thing I am not so sure about. We all get the same kind of plate, but I think when I say plate, 99% of us think of a round object; well, forever, plates were round.
Some may get a silver sturdy plate, some a plate made of china, corelle or paper (yea! the paper platers don’t get much of a chance, those things don’t hold up well at all!)
Bear with me I am really going some where with this plate…
What brought this thought to my mind today was, last night was the final straw in 2 years worth of statements, as I found out about different things happening to friends or family who once would have called me right away to ask for prayer or talk ; no longer do I hear it “thru the grapevine”.
I used to be the go to girl, people would call me all the time for advice, for prayer, to talk to about their problems; I enjoyed helping others clean off spots on their plate; I have noticed that people don’t do that any more.
If some one does by chance start to tell me about something that isn’t going right in their life, they will suddenly stop and say, ” Why am I telling you this, like you don’t have “enough on your plate already”!
Let me tell you a little about my birth plate. It had dents, scratches and cracks from 46 years of crud that started VERY early in life.
The beginning portions on my plate were placed there by others, over which I had no control. I was much to young.
But as I grew older, I added my own crud to the plate, anger, rage, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, drinking, drugs, bad financial habits and poor choices in relationships, jobs that drove me crazy— the list goes on.
My plate WAS maxed.
I did begin to learn to remove many of those things on my plate when I gave my life to Christ in my late 20’s (I mean really gave it to him not just said the words). But as I said that plate was all kinds of jacked up!
On June 12, 2008 it shattered into a million pieces! 46 years of wear and tear and my plate could not hold up to what was going to be the beginning of a new life.
There was no putting that plate back together.
I was graciously handed a new life plate, a unique plate, not round or square, or triangular, a plate that was so completely different, this plate has no lip around it, made for gently sliding things off.
This plate did come with a few portions on it but it wasn’t full and it still isn’t.
See, this plate brings with it some real eye openers.
Like hey! there is no hate on this plate , I DON’T have to scoop it on!
There is no resentment, no anger, no crazy employers, no low self esteem, no feelings of unworthiness, (drugs, drinking and bad money habits were taken off my plate back in my early 20’s); there is a lot of room on this plate!
I as a 46 year old woman get to choose what I want on this plate.
Yes, this new life with TBI can give me reason to scoop my plate HIGH with all kinds of crud, if I want to; OR I can keep praising God for the wonderful gifts, the peace, the new found joy, the freedom from my old plate.
I know this is making no sense, it almost sounds as if I am rejoicing in TBI.
No, what I am rejoicing in is the fact that I HAVE ROOM on my plate.
Do you hear me friends and family?
Don’t leave me out of your lives because you think it will add more stress; don’t not tell me your sorrows because you think I have enough to cry over; don’t keep from me when you get hurt because you think your pain isn’t “as bad as mine”.
I want you to tell me about YOU!
I want to pray for YOU, WITH you I want to be a part of your life and help you.
God has gifted me with a plate so unique, I still do not know how or where I carry this plate; I still wear many hats; I often stick my foot in my mouth; my hands are busy helping my son or being raised to the Son.
From age 46 to 48 I have learned there is a Well, called God; I can easily slide stuff I don’t want off this plate into His hands.
There is room for you friends and family.
In some bizarre way, TBI has freed me of so many things; I now understand how absolutely unimportant they are; I refuse to scoop them onto this new plate.
Every so often something would like to take up residence on this plate; I gently tip it sideways till whatever it is slips off.
I know what I want on my plate.
I see things through a different heart and different eyes now; I am saving room for you….I won’t let you live on my plate or take on your worries and pain, forever; but I will let you use a spot; help you unload some of your stuff. I will try to help ease your pain; give you good advice; pray with you; then I will gently tip it to the side to let it slide off into the hands of the Master Crafter.
Why the plate? Yesterday I found out my mother, YES MY OWN MOM, who lives barely 5 miles from me, fell at 3am in the morning, hitting her nightstand, cutting her head open to the point she has 30 stitches and 2 very very black eyes.
No one bothered to call me!
When I called to find out why, the answer….the statement I have heard from friends or family when they haven’t told me something important yet painful… over and over for 2 years now.. Because I felt you had “enough on your plate”.
TBI is not ON my plate, it is a new way of life. A life we are facing head on and getting through.
So when you think, ” well lets not burden Tracy with our woes, remember this….my plate is only 2 years old there isn’t much on it. Come on over, borrow a spot if yours has gotten to full.
Please keep my mother, Sandy, in your prayers. She is insulin diabetic ( they don’t always heal quickly); I am praying for a quick recovery for her.
And yes, I gave her the 3rd degree about looking for signs of head injury. The Doctor at the ER did not feel she needed a scan done.
My world-simple thoughts of a simple man 